Why is it that people are so fearful of speaking to groups? I have a chief executive who has paid me for one-to-one coaching and yet keeps cancelling every appointment we make to meet up and get started?
I have people who I meet in companies I work with, who keep saying to me, I need to work with you, I need to do your programme, I need to engage with you, but they never do!
If they feel the need to do this and yet they don’t engage with me or somebody else why is that?
Let me tell you my theory on why people are fearful of speaking in public!
Do you remember your school days when you were always good at the things you enjoyed, in my case drawing or anything to do with art also being creative with the my hands when working with wood. Academic stuff I did not enjoy so much, learning the Irish language I hated. When you look back with hindsight, the reason was that the emphasis by your teacher or perhaps a parent each time you tried something, was on what you did wrong.
Best coaching advice ever!
When I started coaching over 20 years ago my mentors best advice to me was that when I was coaching or leading a group “if I couldn’t find the good in somebody it was my fault not theirs”, and that’s how I proceeded throughout my coaching life and life in general. Good teachers, good coaches, good trainers find the good in you, encourage you to do more and help you to grow. Now if we come back to why you’re reluctant to speak in front of a group that’s the reason, think about it!
Who told you were not good at speaking?
So now let me tell you why it’s important that you should be able to say a few words on that important occasion in a real-life situations like; a family wedding, funeral, retirement or business meeting.
Let me give you an example of a retirement party my wife recently attended, a colleague was retiring after 44 years of working with the organisation and the chief executive came over to make the presentation. The chief executive clearly wasn’t comfortable in this situation and had a few notes on a piece of paper including the retiree name and every time he referred to this man who had worked for the company for 40 years plus he had to go back and check the piece of paper to remember his name. Clearly he knew his name and yet it appeared that he didn’t because he was nervous and uncomfortable and he wasn’t in a situation where he felt fully in control.
Would the audience feel valued and want to work for this Organisation for 40 years and be energetic and enthusiastic on a daily basis, I don’t think so!
Let me come back to why it’s important for you to be able to say a few words at those important occasions, it’s the few words that will be remembered, it’s the kindness, it’s the reminiscing, it’s the story about the person that will be remembered and show how they were valued.
Good leaders are good communicators!
So if you want to be successful in your career and in your life then you need to be an engaging and interesting person who has the ability to speak and demonstrate these capabilities when presenting, this is the skill I teach people and it can be taught the same as any other skill.
If you want to advance further in your career, than give me a shout, let it be the first step in overcoming your fear of speaking to groups.
